That layout mimics the kinda hook-shape my mother's hands have become in her old age. 

...comes from grappling with too much horse cock over the years?? 

Turn monitor upside-down to jump
Power-cycle broadband hub to attack 

No, really.

If negke wants to copy the irc chat from yesterday I explained how this config is a piece of piss. 

http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/villains/images/a/a6/Captain_Hook_(Hook).jpg 

https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ofpIWJW87Vk/Vwv8hqCVzeI/AAAAAAAAAjA/gAF0WE-4wMw0qXthgShFa1t9sJkB9WK7g/s1600/fuckyouall.jpg 

 

 

Why is spirit so intimately familiar with what animal anus looks like??

Hmmm...

oh n/m 

 

On the subject of DS3:

http://store.steampowered.com/app/374320/#app_reviews_hash

Approx 25% people are reporting it as broken-as-fuck PC release?? 

Basically how all highly anticipated games go on Steam reviews for about the first week or two. 

Although some releases seem to have more technical issues than some (XCom and Arkham thingy spring to mind too?). 

I tested your config in ds3. You can't rebind the mouse buttons to movement. But it looked like everything else was ok. 

Saves me �40 for now then. Will keep dicking around trying to learn WASD, if I can without getting bored out of my mind, I'll pick DS3 up on sale and tip you half the difference. 

It's been fine for me, but I'm only an hour in. 

strange style choice. I suppose it worked for Blood Dragon, STRAFE and Kung Fury. Gotta cash in on those 'I existed in the 80's' internet points.

The cinematic trailer is rad, though. 

STRAFE advertising is 90's themed. my bad. 

So contrary to popular belief I started playing DS3. Daz was a bit over-optimistic with "ur keybindings will work apart from mouse button movement" - I got GlovePIE to remap the mouse controls but none of the buttons around [ ] ' # etc will be accepted no matter what they're rebound to, so I've had to sift everything a few keys to the left which is kinda annoying but it is playable and actually good practise for getting a laptop as I'd need to be over to the left anyway. So yeah I can play the fucking thing.

The fact the menus and everything still keep the controller buttons is a fucking disgrace. Don't any of the devs actually own PCs??

So far it runs pretty well on a i3 / 6gb / GTX660 2gb. A bit slow loading up some scenes but I'm getting 30-40 fps constant. This is on Medium....but it still looks amazing on that. This is why it's worth persisting through all the bollox, I'm, I dunno, 4 bonfires in and the scenery is stunning. Yay.

Anyway.

Took me about 6 goes to get past the first boss. The first bonfire is about 15 seconds dash before that so that's not too stupid. I found it a lot easier without the target lock on, I think I got lucky with the 2nd phase tho. Then I found the shrine and levelled up and ended up in a fucking spectacular castle and went one way past loads of goons and there was a fucking enormous dragon that suddenly torched everything in sight so fuck that homie so I went another way and one of the goons spontaneously erupted into some black oozing cockslug monster and fuck that too so I went back to the dragon and it was still there so I went back to the shrine and explored around and there was some fucking nobber with a katana that killed me instantly so fuck him too and I went back to the slugcock goon and killed him before he, errr, erected and got a longbow I can't fucking use so back to the dragon and realised I could get past him and then a knight killed me and then.....stuff. You get the picture. 

Don't any of the devs actually own PCs??

They would be developing on PCs that have controllers plugged into the PCs. 

Just run past it. That's usually the idea. It worked for me 

10/10 post 

http://i.imgur.com/WDoIzwH.jpg 

Checked out Dark Messiah of Might and Magic again recently, pretty neat. Why has this kind of thing not taken on more ? First person melee dungeon crawling is awesome with a half decent combat system.

Good news is it seems Techland is getting back to working on Hellraid.