Func_Msgboard: Quake 2018: How Baker's Penis Felll Off

Quake 2018: How Baker's Penis Felll Off

Posted by Baker on 2018/08/24 08:59:42

Quake began its life as the remarkable game that could do multiplayer. You could make a map:

1) It could single player
2) It could co-operative
3) It could deathmatch.

No game had such a feature! Quake became like DYNAMITE.

Enter The Age Of The No Penis Mapper

In 2018, most mappers are unaware of this heritage. Their penises fell off, unused and removed by evolution. "Use it or lose it" they say.

They have better tools than their forebearers, but less knowledge so are far less capable because knowledge is power.

CZG maps? They coop. Necros maps? They coop. Tronyn maps. They coop. Old maps: you guessed it -- from ancient oldies like A2D2 to Flecksp1 -- they all coop.

So yeah, your small fry penis --- it's just you and your inferior capabilities.

Your ancestors with lesser tools could do what you cannot. -- Deal with this undeniable truth.

So what their forebearers could do with ease, they cannot. They don't even know where to start.

How did this happen?

It started with the 1-engine Charlie.

The beginning of Quake illiteracy. Are you are a 1-engine Charlie?

So how did this happen? I'm not here to explain, that isn't how meritocracy works. We all have to earn what we know know ... should we deserve to do so.

/Although this post is beer enabled, it is what I think 24/7 about the deficient 3rd tier state of Quake today that pales compared to works of the past. In older times, every map co-oped like Sewage Devastation because works that didn't do so were viewed by the stuffy elite as 2nd tier and who wanted to be 2nd tier? Against my better judgment, I click submit.

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#1 posted by Esrael on 2018/08/24 09:12:43

You know, the first map I made was quite old-school enough that it has all three game modes, and I'm happy about that.

But then, for my WIP episode, I decided to go all experimental: choosing exclusive/branching/partially intertwined paths, which makes coop difficult to implement. I kind of hated making the sacrifice and making the maps SP/DM only, because I think like you: I want my coop! (Even if I have no-one to play with.)

Now that I think about it, I guess, if I went the extra mile, I could implement some sort of forced teleportations to ensure that all players are on the same path, or something. Maybe I'll try to patch the maps for the full episode to make the path gameplay work for coop.

Or To Be More Accurate

#2 posted by Esrael on 2018/08/24 09:21:51

which makes coop difficult to implement.

Well, maybe not necessary difficult to implement, but I guess more of a hassle. Even if in an ideal world I want all maps to be coop, I guess since I don't have close friends to coop with, I couldn't be bothered to go through the effort of doing it.

But for some reason I did go the extra mile to implement dm (while still having no friends to play with). Hmm, I wonder why I did that. Maybe I just thought in my close-minded head, that I simply just can't implement coop in a branching path map, or something.

Sorry, kind of rambling writing here.

Tl;dr

#3 posted by Spud on 2018/08/24 09:57:38

"i am drunk and upset more people aren't using mark v"

This Thread Will Be Closed At Some Point.

#4 posted by Shambler on 2018/08/24 11:28:57

But it's getting left up for now because it's a fantastic insight into Baker's mindstate. Feel free to discuss for a while - if you can work out what on Earth to discuss......

#5 posted by R00K on 2018/08/24 12:08:39

1.> mix your beer with tomato juice and you wont have a headache in the morning.

2.> All maps are fun to play in any mode, with the right weapon balance.

3.> Coop kinda sucks, if you are playing stock quake AI.

4.> I have no idea what im talking about it's 5am...

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