Susy DeLucci and the Miracle of Life. One morning around 5am 22 year old Susan DaLucci of Kittery Maine, woke up with a painful need to urinate. At first she thought she had diarrhoea, but when she stood up out of bed, she realised that it was urinary pain. It was very similar to the feeling of having diarrhoea, just out the wrong hole. She wobbled to the toilet and upon sitting on it, her vag1na erupted into the most horrific messy farting noise anyone has ever erupted heard. In paralysing pain, Ms. DeLucci for the next few minutes continued to push and squirt out of her vag1na a burning tide of wretch and filth while she gripped the sides of the toilet, white-knuckled. She was screaming wildly, and the neighbours called the police. When medics arrived they found Ms. DeNucci unconscious lying on the floor of her bathroom wearing nothing but her bath robe. Running down her leg, was a stream of brown and green syrup. The medic had to transfer her to a stretcher, so he grabbed her left leg which was bent crossing her other leg, to straighten her out. She was lying there all twisted up. When he lifted her left leg to straighten her body out, he exposed her vag1na at which point a creature, no larger than the tip of a finger wormed its way out of her gen1tals and landed on the floor with a wet popping sound. Shocked, the medic stared at the creature that was lying on the tile bathroom floor in a casing of mucous. It was a tiny mud shrimp and it sat there on the cold floor gasping for water while flipping itself back and forth. The horrified medic turned to the toilet as he felt the nausea setting in. When he put his face down into the toilet to puke what he saw was so horrific that to this day he cannot look into a toilet without convulsing. The entire toilet bowl was boiling with baby brown mud shrimp flipping and splashing at a furious pace.

If you think that is bad - wait until you hear how it happened: Ms. DeLucci official death was the result of a combination of shock and severe head trauma. She stood up over the toilet in pain and when she saw what she had done, she went into shock and fell, smashing her head on the toilet and then on the floor. It is believed by medical police that on two nights before the accident she had purchased a live lobster at a fish market. While lying in a tub, she gently inserted the creature's tail into her vag1na to derive pleasure. At that point, she held a lighter under the creature's face causing it to flip its tail in a violent snapping motion. The medics found a lesb1an video in the VCR and the TV was positioned on a table in front of the tub. The lobster was found in the kitchen garbage can wrapped in a paperbag.
Traces of Ms. DeLucci's DNA were found on the lobster along with pub1c hairs that had wedged themselves between the lobster tail joints. The lobster's face was lightly burned with the same fuel used in lighters. The lobster's digestive track and colon were found to be full of mud shrimp egg casings. Doctors believe that the lobster had eaten them (they are common in the water at fish markets and are usually harmlessly boiled to death) and the lobster had cr@pped them out into Ms. DeLucci's f*nny when she was torturing it. Maine mud shrimp only take two days to gestate and Ms. DeLucci was only four days away from getting her period, doctors believe that at that point of her menstrual cycle, her womb was the perfect PH balance to grow these mud shrimp which are a much larger version of version of version of the popular "Sea Monkey" pets sold throughout the US. Over night the eggs had hatched and the mud shrimp began doubling in size every ten minutes. You can imagine the pain she was in when she woke up that morning and gave birth to well over 1,000 mud shrimp in her toilet. 

http://www.comeallyefaithful.co.uk/ 

http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/bllobster2.htm 

http://www.snopes.com/risque/juvenile/lobster.htm 

Don't paste the text when you can paste a link. 

too long, didn't read. 

perfect post to read right before dinner 

http://teamshambler.telefragged.com/

Go read, might be amusing, and go volunteer to join me playing GC2 coop when it's released too =). 

join me playing GC2 coop when it's released too

Hell yeah.

Shame about the firewall really :/ 

Well I'm always horny for co-op gameplay, but I also suck at strategy games. I don't like the massive learning curves. I don't want to buy a game just for a few fun rounds of co-op. 

....I was thinking of the whole damn game =). 

Maybe. 

Plans like that never seem to survive long enough. :( 

Win98 will install (or upgrade from Win95) fine on FAT16, and it also includes a FAT32 converter in the system tools folder, which can convert you over to FAT32 without having to format/re-install. 

plush cthulhu [be afraid] ...

http://www.logicalcreativity.com/jon/plush/01.html 

Also way too old. 

Merry Christmas everybody. 

n/t 

bah-fscking-humbug 

I miss you, please come back! 

See what Scampie said.

And a merry Christmas to you, too. 

Peej has internet access? How can he afford it!? Crazy holiday season. 

http://www.bmedia.org/archives/00000223.php 

Hi Quake Types

I'm frustrated with something that perhaps someone out there can help me with. I have a 2nd PC which is this:

Pentium II - 266
2 Voodoo 2's in SLI
128Mb RAM
Sound Blaster Live! Value
No modem or LAN card and no internet connection
Windows 98SE

Here's my frustrating problem and I have tried scouring the web for answers but they either don't exist or you have to be a programmer to understand it. I've done clean installs and patches on 3 Quake 2 engine games (Quake 2, Sin and Heretic 2) and none of them start. I get a WinSock Initialization Failed popup and that's it - no game. FitzQuake gives the same error message but it is good enough to know that I'm not in multiplayer and I can play SP just fine.

I only want to play single player. I've downloaded from microsoft the winsock files but no luck. My PC is pretty clean - there's not much on it.

Can anyone help me? 

that error in Q2, but WinSock is the programming API to access TCP/UDP protocols via Win32. Since you state that you don't have a network card, Win98 might not have installed basic TCP/IP support.

Either try the Q2 command line option -noudp or install Microsoft Loopback Adapter to get TCP/IP installed. For that you don't need any network card hardware but the protocol stacks will be installed so any program that require them should at least load.