i was actually not going to bother continuing but those posts kind of encouraged me to at least try...
ended up with this:
http://necros.quaddicted.com/temp/ropes1.jpg
each segment is 16-32 units long (they contain 16 frames in 1 unit long increments).
each frame, i iterate through the chain and add a velocity vector pointing towards both the next and previous points.
this works somewhat, but you have to tweak the tension (speed multiplier of the velocity vector) or it jitters a lot.
it also doesn't really work with longer ropes because you need super high tension to keep it from falling apart but those levels of velocity cause excessive jittering.
so yeah, with the expense of iterating the chain every frame and needed many segments with 1 entity each, it just doesn't seem worth it.
if i do try to continue with ropes generated at run time, looks like i'll have to look into static ropes, probably with a cosh function like mwh posted (thanks for that).
it's a shame though because i had hoped to get the ropes to react to rockets passing by and explosions. oh well. :S