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Choose Your Own Adventure: JIRA Edition
You awake to find a scrap of paper at your feet. On the front are the words ISSUE TRACKER: REGRESSION. You turn it over and begin to read.

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-= XI =-

The iron shackles were forged to the dimensions of your limbs, and you slip them on readily. Your body decays more slowly than your consciousness, and after mere centuries the restraints can be removed again, leaving you to mindlessly shuffle the corridors at length.

Refusing to address the regression at all? That's dereliction of duty! It's just plain lazy, and you should be ashamed for suggesting it. You score 0% completion, and should probably cheat your way back to the previous page and try to actually come up with a fix.

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